My Best Friend - My Brother


On the 6th December 1997, being a Saturday night, my 28 year old brother was coming home around 10.30pm from Stock cars with some friends. As he approached a pedestrian crossing, a woman ran out onto it, leaving my brother little time to brake the car, as he did brake though, the car skidded and collected the woman onto the bonnet.

My brother stopped the car and got out to render assistance as did one of his friends. The woman was sitting in the middle of the crossing not to badly hurt for her ordeal, but her partner flew into a rage and started to attack my brother. By this stage there were many witnesses and the police were called. However no one could calm this guy down and he punched my brother so hard that he knocked him to the ground, causing my brother to hit head first putting him into a coma.

At the hospital they operated to relieve pressure from the brain, but alas within 24 hours my brother was pronounced brain dead, and we had no choice but to turn off his life support machine.

Justice was not served upon this guy, he walks free today. My family and I are still suffering, our sentence is for life. I cannot describe the pain I experienced within the first year, I felt as though I could not go on. My brother was my very best friend, my soul mate. There was only 18 months difference between us in age. We did just about everything together.

My partner and I drifted apart, we were fighting so much that we separated, but I am happy to say that our love was strong enough that we are still together today. I have a 7 year old daughter, and I could not find the words to tell her why her Uncle had gone. Life for me has only just begun to come right. I have looked within myself to heal the pain and I have turned to spirituality, not God.

I still miss him like crazy, and the pain never really goes away, one day you are doing ok, the next you are a total mess. I have realised though that I have someone that needs me, and for her sake I must carry on. My brother would want me to be strong and he would want me to be the best Mum that I can be to my little girl, and that on it's own gives me strength.

One thing I have learnt from this accident, and it's quite simple really. If you wouldn't like someone to be violent towards you, or you would be really messed up if someone hurt someone that you love, then don't do it to someone else! Violence kills, please think twice before you next raise your hand/fist in anger, you might be about to hurt/kill someone that is very much loved.

Thank you for allowing me to write this.

Yours Sincerely,


You can send email to Tracey at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 12-6-97
date of post 4-7-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW