My Justin

Teresa Fields

This is a letter to my son:

Dear Justin,

I recieved a phone call at 2:16 am in the morning of April 4, 1998. The officer on the other ended told me that you had had a wreck and that you were no longer with us.

I got up, and went to the living room and raised the blinds. I sat in my chair until the sun came up, just because I knew that you couldn't. I realize that you saw the sun rise, but not with mortal eyes. I sat in that chair and watch the sun and watched your favorit move, "The Crow". I watched it twice. Then I called your cell phone number even though I knew you would not get the message. I just had to tell you I lover you.

When I close my eyes, I can see your car, against a tree with flames 40 feet in the air. I think about what I would have done, had I been the one to find you.

Your son will be born soon, and I can feel your sorrow at not being here when he is born. I know I need to let you go, but I loved you so much. You were the son of my soul.

I knew that you didn't like to see women cry, but please forgive me, I just can't help it.

I will always treasure you, and love you. Me and Aurora will raise your child in a house of love and understanding.

I miss you,



You can send email to Teresa at: [email protected]
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anniversary date 04-03-98
date of post 06-21-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW