The Loss of My Husband


My Alan was not the easiest person to love or to know, though I had loved him for over 25 years. He had a great sense of humour and loved the outdoors. It all started in October when he lost his job of 22 years, that upset him more than he would say, but thought that his life would get better, that was the 16th he had his heart attack the 20th. After months of hospital visits and Alan really trying to change his lifestyle the doctors decided the only way to fix his heart was bypass surgery, this terrified Alan but he agreed hoping this would help him. He went in for the surgery on a Tuesday, I was there to be with him after it was all over and they told me he did I kissed him goodbye and promised I'd be back when he awoke, that was not to be. He went into cardiac arrest after I left and suffered major complications. They had him on life support for 3 days and nothing was working so I had to make the awful choice of letting him live as a vegetable or taking him of life support, I chose what I knew he would have wanted. I t was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, saying goodbye to him.... His and my last words to each other were I Love You, that does give me some comfort but it would be more comforting to hear his voice and feel his touch right now...


You can send email to Sara at: [email protected]
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anniversary date October1998
date of post 03-14-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW