When He Became An Angel

Roxanne Gazes

Joseph William Gazes
Friday, July 27, 1990

When he became an angel
He was such a tiny thing,
A bud that had not opened,
A song too shy to sing.

We often think about him,
Because we love him so,
And wonder about the palace
Where baby spirits go.

Does the celestial household
Allow him out to play,
Or must he sit in spotless robes
And strum a harp all day?

We know he dwells in beauty
That surely brings him joy,
But oh, we hope God's angel
Is still our little boy!

Joseph was still born at 35 weeks due to a true knot in the umbilical cord after an ultrasound was performed the day before, verifying everything was alright.

You were a beautiful baby weighing 5 lbs. with lots of dark hair. We had waited so long your father and I not to mention your big brother Sam, who was sixteen years older than you at the time. He was looking so forward to being a big brother after being an only child for so long.

It's been seven years since I have held you in my arms. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about you. Especially on the warm nights in July and the first snow of the winter, wishing I could hold you and keep you warm . At first I thought this was unbearable, but now I look forward to all of those extra special moments I think about you. At first I only wanted to be with you and wished the sun would cease to rise. But now I live every day for you, sometimes even through tears, and look forward to sharing all things in the only way we can. I know you are always with me!

It's your birthday tomorrow. Your Dad and I and your sister "Rachel" will visit you. She has never seen you but knows of you and enjoys our visits. Sam is away at college and keeps you very busy, being his guardian angel. I miss and love you very much Joseph, and wish you a very Happy Birthday!!

Time is the only healer of a broken heart. Thank goodness for Pen-Parents and people like Maribeth Wilder Doerr who, through the grieving of her own children reached out to help the rest of us. With all my heart "Thanks".

Sam Louis Gazes 11-06-74 Living
Miscarried 1982
Joseph William Gazes 07-27-90
Miscarried 05-29-91
Rachel Renee Gazes 09-12-92 Living

Roxanne Gazes

You can send email to Roxanne at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 07-27-90
date of post 07-26-97

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW