Trying Hard to Cope


I am a 48 year old mother who lost her son James Incerto in a freak car accident on September 6, 1998. My husband Ralph, his brother Jason who is 19 and myself, Liliana is trying very hard to cope with this tragedy in our lives.

James was at the cottage for a week-end with a few friends when his car skidded to the side of the gravel road. It was his car, but he was not driving. It was 12:30 at night and he and 2 friends were returning from a street dance not too far from the cottage. When is car stalled in the gravel James got out to push the car. The car however was close to a ditch or gorge by the road, so as he was pushing, the car rolled on top of him and killed him.

James was my soulmate, my friend. I am still numb and in shock over this senseless tragedy. I wrote these few words to pass onto the people at the church who attended his funeral.

We his parents will always remember his boundless zest for life. He was life! He lived every day as if it would be his last. His often rough exterior and hurried ways hid a heart that overflowed with a love that sometimes overwhelmed and frightened even him. He felt deeply. We , his family , who he lived with for 24 years, will always remember his open displays of affection. Your mother, your father and your brother, Jason love you more than words can possible tell. You are in our hearts; in our souls for as long as we live on this earth. I can hear your laugh, I can see your smile, I can feel the warmth of your hugs, your rough beard on my face.

I never knew there existed such pain as this!! I hope my love will be stronger than the pain I am now experiencing.

We'll love you forever James.

Your family - Your grandparents.

You can send email to: [email protected]
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anniversary date 09-06-98
date of post 11-28-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW