I Will Love You Til Poets Do Not Rhyme


I'm sure that I am not the only daughter that feels that their mother was one in a million--but to know her was to love her. My memories of my Mom growing up was a woman that always had patience with her not always behaved 6 children. I always felt my mother was always there for me and always understood what I was feeling. That never changed. She loved everyone and was always a people pleaser.

My Mom was sick long before she told me. I visited her everyday but somehow she hid her pain from me until she couldn't sleep at night anymore. On the way to the doctor I comforted her and reassured her that it probably wasn't anything and she wouldn't have to go into the hospital. I couldn't have been more wrong. It took the doctor exactly one minute to call me into the examinating room to tell me she had to go into the hospital right away. She was full of fluid. That day she weighed 168 lbs.; two weeks later she weighed 132 lbs.; all water. She had congestive heart failure. As if that wasn't enough, the doctor realized after the water was leaving her body, her liver was enlarged twice it's size.

I know that no matter when she told me, she wouldn't have been spared the cancer. The family decided it would be best not to tell her of her condition being nothing could be done at her age. She came home with me, although she wanted to be in her own home, but I convinced her as soon as she was well enough she would be home again. She sure loved her little house. She never did go home, at least not until the day of her funeral. I asked the funeral director to pass her house before the funeral Mass. He stopped the car she was in directly in front of her house-- with her children behind her in the next limousine, and opened the door for a final goodbye. We were all touched by this and very grateful.

She passed away one week after her 80th birthday in my home. I thank God I was at least able to be there for her before he took her to His home. Mom is in a mauseleum in a cemetery I pass to go to work everyday. I stop in every morning feeling a little closer to her. I often wonder if I told her enough how much I loved her. I still do and tell her every day. I hope she hears me. The holidays are coming up for the first time without her. She will be there in spirit. We all love her.

You can send email to Martha at: [email protected]
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anniversary date
date of post 11-03-96

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW