That laugh that was so unique to you still echo's in my mind.
How you devoted your time and energy into your many inventions to better the Puget Sound Blood Center in Seattle, Washington.
The day you "stole" my brand new Kitchen Aid mixer to create a bone crushing machine for the new Bone Bank at the Center.
The many good deeds you performed for hemophiliac children visiting the Blood Center.
The wondrous ways you transformed our home in your remodeling projects.
The day you shouted across the golf course for all to hear "Why are you so beautiful?"
Though we met when our children were grown, you were willing to accept mine as your own.
The many times you cooked dinner when I came home from work tired You helped a friend overcome alcoholism and gave him a job at the Blood Center.
You were always there for others when they needed you.
How can I end my grieving for you and let you go? I still love and miss you so.
Grief affects different people in different ways. My grief has been devastating to my life and perhaps is the reason why I cannot seem to get through it. When Jerry died I lost all sense of direction. Would drive a block away from the house and be so lost that I would pull over to the side of the road and cry, This went on for many months. I am crying now, as I write this, and don't know how to help myself.
I worked for the US Postal Service and, the first week back to work from the loss of Jerry, received a letter of warning for some stupid small thing that happened months before his death. I was unable to deal with it so quit and became a Truck Driver.
I also went careening off into a horrible direction. I met and within three months married only to find three months later than the person I married was after what little money I had. He took me for everything I owned and put me heavily into debt. I divorced him and spent the next several years paying that debt off.
I have since been unable to trust or allow anyone to get close to me. I was finally able to get off the road as a long haul truck driver but am now in a field that is physically too hard for me as a fuel tanker driver. I live alone with my cat and seem to be back to square one. I really do not know how to continue on.
I thought that if I faced it squarely and started talking about it, perhaps it would help. Even put a web page up on my new web site in memory of Jerry since I have no one to talk face to face with about it. It's located at: http://members.xoom.com/sweetjustice/dedicat.htm I guess I'm finally asking for help (this is coming from a person my mother described as "Me Do It Meself").
You can send email to Marie at: [email protected]
anniversary date November 1990
date of post 7-23-99