He Didn't Deserve to Die

Lorna Anderson

I heard the answering machine beep at 3:30am on Jan 27, I knew it had to be bad news, who would call at that time of the morning? I couldn't bring myself to listen to the message. I must have sat there for about 45 min. before checking. Sure enough it was my younger sister saying my brother had been hurt and it was bad. I felt a cold chill I didn't want to call back to see what was wrong, somehow I though that by not calling the horrible feeling I had would go away. Finally I couldn't take it, so I called back.. They were just arriving at the sheriff's office and all they could tell me then was that he had been shot and that he was probably dead.

My husband had already left for work so I was all alone except for my 7y/o who was sleeping. I sat on my bed and waited for a return call, it was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Finally the call came, yes he was dead. I hung up and sat in shock until it hit me ...my only brother was dead, he had just been at my house 3wks ago, he couldn't be dead. I walked circles around my house trying to make sense of it ...who would want to kill him Jody was a good guy everyone loved him he had so many friends. All these questions and no answers. I remember calling to make plane reservations my aunt calling me to ask what airport and what time was my flight due. I was in a daze. It was really hard because I had no family here with me. I remember feeling so alone. I flew down since he was murdered they had to do an autopsy so we couldn't have the funeral right away. I found some answers to my questions, he had been shot by his ex-wife's latest boyfriend, shot 3 times and left to bleed to death. I could have killed her if I could have found her. How could she have let this happen? My family had been so good to her when her own family had disowned her. The support we had from his friends was overwhelming. The 2 floral shops ran out of flowers, the funeral home couldn't hold all the mourners, neither could the church. It helped ease the pain. I'll never forget those sights.

Lorna Anderson

You can send email to Lorna at: [email protected]
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anniversary date 01-27-98
date of post 11-14-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW