My Buddy

Lisa Niklas

Andy and I had always been close. We were only 15 months apart in age. We grew up in the country on a farm and were always together as there were only a few other kids around. As we got older we became closer friends.

Six years ago I got married and he was in my wedding. When I started having children, he couldn't have been happier. He bought everything a little boy could want. He would take my boys shopping, would babysit for me, and just loved them so much. He was the only uncle my kids had.

On Saturday, September 6, we had been at our parents' house taking care of the horse. Andy had taken the boys on the tractor, which was such a big thrill for them. He left to attend a wedding later in the afternoon and we went home. He had met my parents at the wedding but had to leave after an hour or so to go home and milk the cows. On the way home he fell asleep (he worked 11-7 shift and hadn't slept that day) and hit a log truck. My parents came upon the accident. They told us that he died instantly with severe head and neck trauma. We never got to see him again due to the condition of his body after the accident. Sometimes I can't believe that this has happened. I miss him so much. I feel so bad for my boys that they are missing out on such a great guy and they probably won't even remember what little time they did have with him.

On October 28, my grandfather died from throat cancer. After Andy was killed he lost his will to fight and never said a word. The holidays were very sad but thank goodness we had the boys to keep us busy. On January 14, it will be Andy's 27th birthday. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be.

I am looking to talk to anyone who has also lost a sibling. I am having a hard time finding people. I have found support for people who have lost a child, grandchild and pet, but little on siblings.

Lisa Niklas

You can send email to Lisa at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 09-06-97
date of post 01-07-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW