I waited nearly 6 years between my children before Jacob came into this world. I wanted him desperately and dreamed about him for years before he was even born. Since I had waited so long to have Jacob, I appreciated him completely from the very beginning. I honestly can say that I never got angry with him because I was head-over-heals in love with him. Every cry and temper tantrum was music to my ears. But Jacob was a very good little boy; very well behaved, very sensitive, very loving. His older brother Joshua absolutely adored his little brother and they were the best of friends. They used to spend the evenings together racing up and down the hallway with toy cars or screaming with the joy of life in the back yard. Jacob was everyone's little teddy bear, but especially mine. We had a bond together like none I had known before. We spent all day every day together and it was the happiest time of my life.
We live in a rather old house and in early 96 I started saving money to have a new driveway put in. I thought how wonderful it would be for the boys to play on. I planned to present Jacob with a new tricycle to ride on the new driveway. In June of 96 the driveway became a reality and for nearly 3 weeks the joyful screaming of the boys took place there. One hot summer day, on June 23, I put a wading pool on the new driveway while my husband worked under the hood of my car. Jacob stood in the pool playing with a running water hose while Joshus played elsewhere in the yard. I suddenly became aware of the car engine running and looked up to see. The car was slowly rolling forward and I dazedly asked my husband what he was doing. He screamed in a panic and I realized that the situation was out of his control. The car was already very close to the wading pool. Before there was time to act, Jacob was pinned against the house. My husband moved the car as fast as he could. I ran to Jacob who was still just standing there quietly. I picked him up and yelled his name. I dared to hope that he was OK because he was concious and not crying. As I held Jacob and yelled his name, his eyes began to roll up into his head and the blood drained from his face. He died in my arms. A kind neighbor gave Jacob CPR and an ambulance came quickly but it was no use. My precious baby was gone. He was only 2 years and 3 1/2 months old. The love of my life, gone in one horrible instant. Well for the last 9 months, I've gone from numbness to raging anger to surreal despair. But I've also come to realize that Jacob is still with me in so many ways. His short life and sudden death changed the lives of his entire family in a way that no other event could. We are all much better people for having experienced Jacob in our lives. He was like an angel sent to this earth for a brief period to do a good deed-and he certainly did. I thank God for putting Jacob in my life-knowing my wonderful, beautiful,sweet, blond-haired, blue-eyed angel is worth every ounce of pain I feel in losing him. I love you with all of my heart forever, JayJay.
Lisa has created a web site in memory of Jacob .
You can send email to Lisa at: [email protected]
anniversary date 06-23-96
date of post 04-20-97