Remembering My Father


My life changed forever on January 5, 1997. My father died that day, and I lost the greatest man I've ever known. He was the best dad any daughter ever had. My mother, sister, brother and I will never be quite the same.

For the past few years my father had suffered from emphysema and heart problems. We all knew that time was precious, and I made a conscious effort to build as many memories as I could. I visited whenever I could, I called and talked to him whenever I got the urge. He was one of my very best friends, and we were always sharing stories and swapping tales. He was funny and smart, and knew how to fix anything. He was the rock of our family, and we relied upon his wisdom and advice.

Watching the father I loved slowly deteriorate, was heartbreaking for me and our family, because no matter how hard we wished for it, he wasn't going to get better.

Christmas day 1996 was the last day we were all together as a family. He was having trouble breathing that day, and by the next morning, he was in ICU on a respirator with double pneumonia. I remember praying to God, "Please let us have him with us for just a little longer," over and over in my head. But I knew he was never coming home.

When he died, a part of me died with him. I will never be the same again. It has taken me two years to come to terms with his death. I think of him, and miss him every day of my life. However, what they say really is true. The passing of time does help ease the pain of loss. But there are those days when I miss seeing his face, and hearing his voice, and I would give anything in this world to be able to talk to him just one more time.

When I feel especially sad, I tell myself that I am truly blessed to have had such a loving and gentle father. He was my special hero, and I can never thank him enough for all of the things he taught me, and for all of the wonderful memories he has given me to treasure.

Throughout my life, I will honor him by being the best person I can be. He would want me to go on with my life, to be happy and productive, to enjoy watching my own child grow into a good and decent human being. And this is what I will do, as I know he is watching over me. He is the angel on my shoulder, and I thank God every day for giving me the best dad in the world. I'll always love you, "Pa". Rest in peace.

Robert W. Moore 1928-1997 Beloved husband, father, and grandfather.


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anniversary date 01-05-97
date of post 01-29-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW