Laura tells of the loss of her 2 sons.

Laura McNew

On July 29, 1994, I went on a date with a wonderful man, Mark, who was 11 years older than me. We had a lot in common and spent the whole time talking and laughing. A week later, on our 4th date, he invited me to his house for dinner and to meet his two children, Shannon and Jeffery who had been with their mother for the summer.

While Mark and I were dating, he was still waiting for his divorce to go through. Actually the courts just needed a court date his wife would agree on. The divorce finally went through on November 29, 1994. During that time, Igot to know Mark's boys and totally fell in love with them. Shannon was 8 years old and Jeff was 4.

In February 1995, Mark and I started making wedding plans. We set the date for March 10, 1995. We had it set up so that the boys' mother would pick them up at 6:00 that evening for her week of visitation, and we could run off for a quick honeymoon. The wedding was beautiful. It was held outside. There was entertainment, barbeque, and lots of fun and games. Shannon spent most of the time on the karoke machine. Jeff just ran around bugging everyone (like any four-year-old would do). They looked so cute all dressed up.

At six o'clock, their mother did not arrive. We called her mother to find out where she was. So Mark's parents offered to take the boys to their house so we could get away. They also said they would bring them back to Mark's house so their mother could pick them up the next day. We left for Dallas the next morning, had a wonderful time, and came back the next morning.

We came home and found out the Mark's ex-wife had had a head-on collision on the way to her mother's house, which was 300 miles away. The crash killed her and both of our boys because she fell asleep on the road. Jeffery was kept on life support, though he was brain-dead, until we could get the hospital where he was, and give the hospital our permission to take him off. All of his internal organs were still in tact, so we offered to donate them. His little body has helped save 7 other lives that we know of. I wish we knew how to reach the people who got his organs. We buried the boys on March 13. This first anniversary of our marriage and of our childrens deaths will be very hard.

There are no help groups in our area. I need to find and talk to others who have lost children, to help me cope.

Laura McNew

You can send email to Laura at [email protected]
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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW