Morgan Minifie Hutson

Kathryn Hutson

My sister committed suicide Oct. 2,1997 She was a junior at Emory University. She had attempted suicide a month before but before that had never discussed or attempted to kill her and lived a fairly normal life. My life will never be complete again without her by my side.

Tears, laughter, and friendship
Running through fields of memories
Holding hands, two young girls
One a little taller slightly outs in front
The other struggling to keep up
Oh those fuzzy days of childhood
So perfect they seem to be
A life without worries or grief
So far away from me
Growing up through school
The years blend together
Our lives diverged yet we remained connected
She was my hero so smart so in control
She was everything I wanted to be

In high school we found a new closeness
Through activities we did together and friends that overlapped
She was still my hero but I could see she was not me
She was always there to help me and give advice
We always understood each other
She braved the unknown and guided me through
So strong, so determined, so open and friendly
While I hid in corners and tried to blend in
But oh how I envied and wanted to be like her
Who wouldn't? She was the valavictorion, she was the best
She was going places and she was so happy to leave

I was left behind but oh how I loved to visit her world
She seemed the most popular person, she fit in so well
Her grades were great she seemed to have the perfect life
She seemed to be the happiest person
But something happened and everything changed
Just as I was about to embark on my journey she returned
Terribly unsure of herself, scared of everything
But I could not stay and help her so I left
So much going on in my life so little free time
And she getting better with everyday or so it seemed
Until one day things fell apart, and the world seemed to stop
And I returned home, strangers in my house
A pain so unbearable it feels like a part of you has died
But that is what has happened,

Just being awake is so hard but through all of it is love,
Love from old friends that you haven't seen in such a long time
Love from recent friends and relatives
And on the big the day so dreadfully near
The peace that fills me, feeling her close by
And oh the people, people I don't even know
People that loved her too, did she even know?
I can see her smiling; I can feel her hug,
I can see her walking through the door and calling out my name
I can feel her close to me, so close yet so far away
But then it begins to fade which makes it easier in a way
But then I have a dream, or a reminder, or just a beautiful day
And I wish she was with me because I miss her so very much
It's just so hard sometimes to live without my sister.

Kathryn Hutson

You can send email to Kathryn at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 10-02-97
date of post 06-10-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW