In Memory of Randy M. Canizaro

Judy Canizaro (written by Sharon Frank)

I am writing this for my cousin, Judy Canizaro, who lost her beloved son, Randy, on Wednesday, November 13, 1996 a 4:00 p.m. It is still too fresh and difficult for her to write about.

Randy was a Cystic Fibrosis patient, which we had known since he was 7 years old. We learned at that moment to treasure every moment God was allowing us to borrow Randy on this earth. The relationship between Randy and Judy was quite extraordinary. Judy and Randy's father had divorced early on, and Randy was Judy's only child. Their relationship was not only that of mother and son, Judy was also Randy's father, they were each other's best friends, they were each other's soul mates. All of his life, everything Judy did, every thought she had, was for Randy.

As Randy grew up, he did not tell his friends that he was sick...he did not want people to feel sorry for him, and he wanted to live as normal a life as possible. He went to school, he played ball, he fished, he worked...all the normal things. Nobody knew, except his mother, how much physical suffering he endured in order to lead a normal life. He didn't complain...he didn't ask "why me?" No, he wasn't a perfect individual...he went through all of the normal teenage years...all of the things that go along with being a normal human being! What he was, though, was a loving, giving, caring individual. He developed friendships at an early age that lasted all through his life. He was always the one everyone depended on to be there for them, to help get them through their difficult times, to look after them when they couldn't look after themselves, to see that they got home safely.

As Randy grew older, he became sicker. At the age of 27, Randy decided that if he was going to have an opportunity to improve the quality of his life, he wanted to be put on the list to receive a lung transplant. He knew what the risks were, and he was willing to take them. He received the call in early November 1996 that a donor had been found for him. He and Judy went to the hospital, where the surgery was performed the following morning, on a Friday. Everything seemed to be great - the lungs were a perfect fit, the surgery went well. Later that night, though, things started to happen. The following Wednesday afternoon, the Good Lord decided it was time for Randy to come home to him. He had let us borrow him for 27 beautiful years, and he deeply touched the lives of everyone who knew him. When he left this earth, he had no doubt about how much he was loved by his Mother, his family and his friends. And there was no doubt about how much he loved his mother...

For 27 years, Judy and Randy were given something very special, and those are years that will always be in Judy's mind and in her heart. We miss Randy terribly, but we are also very grateful that we had him for the time that we did, and for the impact he made on all of our lives...he made us all realize what it is to love unconditionally.

Judy Canizaro (Sharon Frank)

You can send email to Judy at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 11-13-96
date of post 05-19-97

[return to home page] [column] [book excerpts] [honor page] [discussions page]

Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW