David was my friend for the last 18 years or so. He died of AIDS last July, but I just found out about it on Easter Sunday. I moved away right before he found out he had it, and due to a very unstable and unhappy living situation was out of touch with him and his partner. He knew that I loved him - he was my best male friend - he also knew that I don't handle death very well at all - I have severe depression that I take meds for daily, but sometimes it's all I can do just to make it through the day. I can't forgive myself for not being actively involved in his life during this time, even though no one else seems to be upset with me. David was a wonderful person. He created beauty where ever he went, was kind and gracious and very sweet. He came from a large Hispanic family and I was close with many of his brothers and sisters - they were all part of his support group when he was dying. He loved to go the Gay Pride Parade every year in San Fransisco, and to the Russian River. He was always decorating and beautifying everywhere he went, always had time for his friends and family, and was lovely in every way. He was my next door neighbor for several years and he was my favorite drinking buddy while he lived next door and we shared secrets that we had never shared with anyone else. At one point we even tried to join AA together - but they tried to split us up so we lost interest. After awhile I did stop drinking, but didn't seem to make any difference in our friendship - I still had a wonderful time whenever I went to his house. His loved one is a wonderful person, and I am so very sorry that they are not together anymore. I don't know if I will ever find another male friend that I will feel as close to - there is no one quite like David - he was charming, handsome and had a wonderful heart. He was always helping people, he really liked everybody and most everyone loved him. I will always miss you David - I hope one day I will be able to think about you without crying.


You can send email to Judith at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 7-96
date of post 04-05-97

[return to home page] [column] [book excerpts] [honor page] [discussions page]

Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW