Grandma L

Both of my grandmothers, whom I was very close to, passed away in 1996 -- EXACTLY two months apart.

Mom's mom, Grandma B, died on May 6th, after a long battle with heart disease. I guess you could say her death was "expected" -- we knew she was quite ill. However, I think I denied the severity of her illness. I didn't want to think about her dying. When mom told me she'd passed away, I was surprised. The last time I'd seen her (about a year before), I knew she was sick, but she didn't appear THAT sick. I've always felt I never got to say goodbye.

Dad's mom, Grandma L, passed away on July 6, due to complications following surgery. For some reason (a gut feeling? the recent loss of my other grandma?), even though I knew she was a strong woman, I had a bad feeling about the entire situation. The surgery went well, and grandma was transferred from the ICU to a less critical unit. She was even strong enough to talk on the phone! I am so thankful that I was able to admit to myself the possibility that I might lose her, because that pushed me to tell her goodbye-to tell her how much I loved her.

Grandma L.

Can't believe it's been a year,
since I saw your face
heard your laugh
said "I love you" and heard it in return.

I remember our last conversation
as if it were yesterday.
Thinking about it afterwards,
I realize you were saying goodbye.

In those brief minutes, that felt like an hour,

you said goodbye.


You're "so proud of me,


so thankful for the love Stacey and I shared with you."

I made you promise you'd be there for my graduation.

You said you'd "get there somehow."

You told me to always remember you love me very much.


We said goodbye, exchanged "I love you's," and I promised to call the next day.


As I fell asleep, you were here.


By the time I awoke, you were gone.


I pray that you did not suffer,


though I'll never know for sure.

I do expect you to keep your promise

I'll be "seeing" you in May for my graduation.

I miss you, love you, and think of you always.


Jill Lowrey




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You can send email to Jill at: [email protected]
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anniversary date 07-06-96
date of post 07-21-97

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