Friday the 13th


Somehow this date will never be the same again. Friday the 13th, June 1997, was the six month anniversary of when my mother and I found out she had only six months to live. She was dying of Hep.C and had a very advanced Ascites and liver failure. This last Friday the 13th I looked at the calendar and realized my Mom didn't even get her 6 months. She died on March 25th 1997. Mom and I decided that we would do home hospice care. We both had no idea how it worked but I wanted her with me. My family, what's left of it abandoned us, being too scared to face her, when she needed them most. My mother in turn would not speak to my little sister, even in the end she refused to see her. My Grandmother and estranged uncle of 25 plus years showed up and all hell broke loose. They wanted to put her in the hospital, they were scared but Mom and I knew they would be, that is why she left me in charge. She hated the hospital. I had the social worker here from Hospice, in hopes that my Grandmother would stop denying what was happening. Then my Uncle started yelling at me. We asked them to leave. I was the one who was taking care of her 100% mentally, physically and financially. They had no right to undermine our decisions. Well, My Mom died the very next morning. I never saw Grandma again, she blames me for asking her to leave and letting Mom die. She did not even come to the Funeral (which I paid for) and now she will not even talk to me or even return my calls. My mother in her will left me her Grandmother's ring from her father's side and now my Grandma refuses to return it to me. I really do not know how to handle all this family hate. I did the most beautiful and unselfish thing I have ever done and now my family hates me. I try to believe that they just are jealous that I got to resolve my issues and they did not. Please help me understand and possibly fix my family. I know I cannot save them I just want to know how after all these years my grandmother can all of a sudden hate me because I helped her daughter and my Mom die with peace. I love her so much. Friday the 13th will always be a bad day for me and my lost family.


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anniversary date 03-25-97
date of post 06-19-97

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW