Angels Among Us


I miss my mom very much. I wish I would have told her more, how much I loved her company. I was so looking forward, to learning how to do canning with her and make jellies, buttered pickles, etc, but it looks as if I'll be doing it alone. My mom had lung cancer. She quit smoking many years ago, but it didn't save her. All I know is that, as many times as she has been there for my brother and I were when we were young, (sick, fever, etc.), the very least I could do was help my dad take care of her, when she got really sick. And you know what? I don't regret one minute of it. I wish I could have done more, but that didn't happen. She passed away on February the 27th, 1998.

On December the 15th, 1997 she went into the hospital. She had suffered a stroke. I was never so scared in my entire life. Well, she gave it quite a battle. She followed up with physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. She seemed to be doing better, and as a result, they allowed her to come home on January the 13th. On my days off from work, I went over there, and did what I could. I prepared meals for her. Cleaned the house, did wash, read to her, helped her with some of the exercises, (my father did the majority of that), and listened to music. She loved listening to music. I remember when we brought her home, my dad and I were getting the bedroom reorganized, so it would be easier for her to get around. When we were done, she was so excited, that she wanted to see what was accomplished. She then laid on the bed, and we turned on the radio. A song called "More" came on the radio sung by Steve Lawrence, and I remember her crying. My dad and her sang the song together, and I never saw so much love before as they were singing to each other, and crying at the same time. It was a sight to behold.

There were times, when I cooked, and prepared meals, I remember the look on my mom's face, of sheer enjoyment. She couldn't talk very well, because of the stroke, but hearing "Mmm", after a home cooked meal, was sufficient enough for me. I remember the frustration she felt, when she would try to tell us something, and it boiled down to laughter, and in mumbles later, "it didn't matter anyway." There were times when we hoped she could smile, she did. No matter what pain she was in, when we said to her about her "bright eyes", she smiled. Those are the memories I will always cherish. Of course, I'll remember many more.

Hospice came in shortly after that, and it wasn't long before she went into a coma. The hospice nurse said she would be going in the next couple of days. Well, it was sooner than that. When we were told the news, my father called my brother, and how grateful, we all are, that she held on till my brother got there. We were all there when the Lord called her home, with the song "Angels Among Us" in the background. She gave a lot of herself to us, and I wish I would have thanked her.

After the first day of visitation, at the funeral home, we all went to my mom and dad's favorite restaurant where they ate many meals. And what music do I hear in the background? "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan in the background. And right then I said, "Of course, I will remember you, Mom!"

Now, she is our, "Angel Among Us." I love you, Mom!


You can send email to Elisa at: [email protected]
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anniversary date 2-27-98
date of post 08-08-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW