When I was three years old, I was abandoned by my mother, and my dad became both mother and father to me. It was loving, caring, courageous, and fun. When I was 16, he died of a massive heart attack as I watched helplessly. With no support or encouragement, I went into a deep denial of his death.
He was everything to me, and his death sucked the life from me. I went into a depression that would last twenty five years. At that point in my life, I hit the bottom, and felt I couldn't go on. I sought the help of a therapist, and with time I was able to begin the grieving process. This road has been long, and just when I think I've done the grieving I possibly can, another wave floods me with emotions.
This week, June 4th, is dad's birthday and mine is the following week. We always shared a special celebration of our birthdays. As the day approaches, I am filled with sadness, and the tears keep welling up. In my psychology class, we read a case study this week, of a woman who lost her dad and wasn't able to grieve. The story was very powerful. I felt an intense sadness and longing for my wonderful dad who had so little time on this earth. I'm missing him so much right now, that I thought I would honor him with my love.
I am graduating from college in three weeks with a degree in Behavioral Science. I enter a MA program in the fall to become a therapist. My goal is to work with young children who have lost their loved ones at an early age. I would like to see them be able to enjoy their loved ones memories as the cherished part of their history. I only wish I had been able to honor my dad when he died. In closing, I want to wish my dad a very happy 75th birthday. 3/4 of a century for you dad, and I'm going to celebrate the 1/2 century mark. I love and miss you very much.
Your Loving Daughter,
You can send email to Diana at: [email protected]
anniversary date 09-09-65
date of post 06-02-98