In Remembrance of a Friend

Daniel J. Mc Neill

I have been contemplating posting a dedication for some time now and feel that this would be the perfect opportunity and place for it. My friend William Gorman had a nickname that many referred to as "Bubba". But having been acquainted with him from a very young age, I knew him always solely as "Bubby".

Bubby and I had grown up together in Philadelphia. I was a shy and awkward lad, being a bit on the cerebral side - traits not often endearing to one's peers. But Bubby was a glaring exception. He and I were friends through all kinds of twists and turns over the years, perhaps the only one I managed to make from my youth in Philadelphia. At the age of 12, my family relocated elsewhere and though we were no longer a few houses down from each other we still sustained our unique bond. All through the years, Bubby was a loyal and supportive companion. Though as time elapsed we had only intermittent get-togethers, the quality and depth of our long-standing association had never diminished.

The last time I had seen him alive was in January 1992. I was en route to the Midwest for a trip and was compelled to visit him. Our meeting was brief but fulfilling. Bubby shared with me his hopes of resuming college and his dreams for the future as well as intoning me to keep in touch. I assured him I would though admittedly, I neglected to keep my promise. 2 years later, I had gotten wind that Bubby was hospitalized with a viral ailment and was in poor health. Concerned but not overwhelmed, I rationalized that he was just 21 and capable of surmounting anything of the sort. Weeks later, I was informed that things had taken a turn for the worse and it was at this point that I realized how truly serious matters were.

The next day, I took a trip to Philadelphia with every intention of visiting my friend the first thing the following morning. I was gravely concerned and not even contemplating that my lifelong friend would be spending his last moments on earth. On the morning of March 13th, 1994, I awoke to a phone call confirming my deepest dread. "Bubby passed away last night". It was at that moment when time stood still, my life had shattered into a thousand fragments irrevocably broken. My best friend was gone.

I was in a haze of despair for the longest time. Springtime was just starting and everywhere I looked, I witnessed nature's majesty of rebirth and renewal. I was working in Yellowstone National Park sometime afterwards, overwhelmed by the beauty of grandeur I discovered there but left with a lingering sadness for a friend departed.

Now, almost 5 years have elapsed and though I have had to accept the loss of someone so significant to me, the sorrow and loss never abates. I try to live my life as a tribute to someone whom I have had the privilege of calling my very best friend. No one will ever take the place of his unique presence, his unparalleled wit, or his integrity.

Bubby, you will ALWAYS be sorely missed. Take Care and God Bless.:'-(

Daniel J. Mc Neill

You can send email to Daniel J. at: [email protected]
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anniversary date 03-13-94
date of post 01-17-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW