Cordelia Chandler

Well David was my brother and he died 3 years ago. I cannot get over it...

It was 2 am when the cops called and told my mum that David was in an accident and to come to the hospital. My mum, a strong Christian woman, immediately saw death. My dad and I drove to the hospital and I will speak for myself. Only right now, what I saw was an image that would not leave my mind. My beautiful brother laid on a bed, paralyzed by drugs, a huge neck brace on his neck, a nurse pumping oxygen into his mouth and his eyes fluttering. I was in total shock, blood streaming from his ears and his hands moving up and down as If trying to hold on to life.

We were told that he had severe brain damage. Lots of uncontrollable bleeding that could not be stopped. My David had an aneurysm whilst driving home. It was December 11, 1997 and I knew that my brother was going to die.

My David was more than a brother to me, he was like a part within me, he knew all my secrets, my thoughts, my fears and I refused or at least I thought, to believe that he was going to leave me and his 2 year old daughter.

The 10th day we went to see him at the hospital and we gently forced his eyes opened, to see if we could wake him up, but we did not succeed. All that happened was tears, lots of tears rolled out of his eyes and I could see the hurt and the pain my mum was going through and I refused to go anyway near him. Again, I could not deal with it anymore.

Day 11 David Neville chandler died. The last image I have of my brother was him wrapped in a plastic bag, being ready to be escorted to a morgue.

I miss him so much and everytime I think about him, which is like every second of every day for the last three years. I cry for hours and I can't stop. I have no one to talk to about this. My boyfriend thinks it is time to get over it and get on with my life.. I can't.

Cordelia Chandler

You can send email to Cordelia at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 12-22-97
date of post 01-19-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW