I lived in St. Louis and moved to Austin because I found a job. 7 weeks after I moved, my sister was killed by a drunk driver. (Nov 19,1995) Now I feel like my whole life is in chaos. I now realize I have no control over my life and God cannot protect me. I miss my sister Penny and sometimes I wonder how I'm going to make it through the rest of my life without her. I have some guilt connected with her death. We were so close when we were little and when my parents divorced, Penny rebelled and we drifted apart. I was so hard on her and judged her harshly. I didn't approve of her friends or her new lifestyle (Which I believe was the death of her...she chose to get in the car with a friend who had been drinking) But the last year or so before her death, Penny began to mature and we came to an unspoken understanding of each other. We began to grow close again. I know if she was still alive, we would never go back to the closeness we shared as children, but at least we would get to be friends and sisters again...now I'll never have that chance. Sometimes I feel crazy...I obsess over Penny...she's all I ever think about and talk about. Will it get better? I'm looking for anyone who has lost a brother or sister. It seems everyone concentrates on the loss of a child, spouse or parent, but not the loss of a sibling. I feel alone.
Colleen
