The Right Thing to Do

Celia A. Camberos

My son took his life July 12, 1998, five weeks ago! He lived in Texas for five years and he came out to California with no explanation of why he was here. I knew it must have been important for him to be here so I had to respect the fact that he needed to be here with or without an explanation. I thought it was an ordinary marital squabble. So I encouraged him to go back with his family I did not know how serious it was and no one told me how he had tried to hurt himself the first week he was here! I should have seen what was in front of my face a little boy all dressed up in a man's body and no one to turn to, but I was too busy trying to do the right thing by encouraging him to get back to his family. I denied him his dignity and settled for the "right thing to do" which turned out tragically wrong! Some of my family members knew he was trying to hurt himself but couldn't believed it was enough for him to want to kill himself. I'm angry that I wasn't told. This responsibility belonged to me and they took it away from me. He was 26 when he came home. He wanted to have his choices respected but we didn't know how to do that because of how much he was hurting I want to get over the anger over this awful thing he did, I want to tell him wake up it's tomorrow already, a new day, new adventures, a new birth all he had to do was wake up! I can't tell my son but I can tell Jerry, John or Julie to wake up cause my son is going to help you to do just that!

My son's body tissues were donated that very same day, two people can now see because of him. Burn victims were helped (mostly children) because of him, people can now walk better with the help of my sons bones! No it doesn't bring him back to me but it does make me proud that he has helped so many people and I can see that big old "puppy dog grim" on his face saying "mom, it feels right to be home" Honor truly belongs to my son because he gave "The gift of life"

Thank you for listening

Celia A. Camberos

You can send email to Celia A. at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 07-12-98
date of post 08-18-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW