We were shocked to find ourselves pregnant at age 45! But soon became very excited at the prospect of another baby and raising another wonderful kid. We had boys ages 18 and 21 at the time. I was worried due to my age but believed everything would be alright. I had an ultrasound and amniocentesis at 17 weeks and we were devastated with the news that our baby was trisomy 18. We agonized over what to do and decided to terminate the pregnancy. It was the hardest thing I've ever been faced with. We said goodbye to our little precious son, Brandon Joel, and began the long process of grief. Will it ever end? I don't want to forget him. He was a wonderful gift.I know he is perfectly whole and in heaven and someday I will get to hold him in my arms.