Brandi Clark

My daughter Chrislyn Rae Clark was born Nov. 29, 1994. It was a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery, only 2 hours of labor! My husband Chris held her for a little while then I had a short turn. The nurse and Chris took her to the nursery to weigh and clean her. While there they discovered a problem....congenital heart defects. She was diagnosed with transposition of the great vessels and ventricular septal defect. She was transported to Tulane University Medical Center in New Orleans for surgery. She did poorly while there. She was put on ECMO at two days old and stayed on that until she was seven days old. She had numerous heart catherizations and one surgery. On Dec. 22, 1994 she was doing terrible. Chris and I watched them put medicine to raise her blood pressure into her IV about every 4 minutes. At about 1:00pm we had "the talk" that every parent who goes through this dreads. We decided with the doctors to take her machines off and let her go. I will never have to make a decision more difficult than that. I held her in my arms until she died. It was the first time I really got to hold her, and the last time. I was a very angry person, the first thing I said was that God was a S.O.B., and after about 3 days I was sorry I said it. I am less angry now, just miss my baby. She would have been 16 months old March 29, 1996. I think of her every day. I will never forget holding her in my arms that day telling her not to be scared and that I understood that she was tired of fighting, and most of all that I loved her very much.

Brandi Clark

I Would like to correspond with people who have lost infants. You can reach me at: [email protected]
mail welcome

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW