For My Mom
The sky was bright and the air was fresh,
Birds were singing, winter had taken a rest.
Your pain must have been great that day,
To make you end your life that way.
What were you thinking as you took those pills?
According to your note, it had to have been the bills.
You said money was the problem and you really tried.
Was your pain so great that you chose to die?
Didn't you realize the pain that this would bring?
Your death for me was a selfish thing.
You didn't think of the family you left behind.
As you drove the car into the garage, were we on your mind?
As you sat in the car with the engine on,
Did you believe you could care for us from beyond?
Was the radio playing as your life ebbed away?
Mom, did you change your mind and wish you could stay?
I didn't realize what you had done at first.
It was only as things quieted down that I hurt.
I began to realize that you were gone and not coming back,
As night fell and for the funeral your clothes were placed in a sack.
The first night was bad and we cried
When we had to accept the fact that you had died.
When I go to bed and when I get up without a hug and kiss,
With you gone, those are two things I really miss.
You're dead and buried and have been for years,
But only recently, I've been able to shed some tears.
For 29 years, I've kept it bottled up in side,
But now thanks to caring friends my pain I don't hide.
The journey I've started is a long one they say,
But I only have to make it day by day.
My friends: Lois, Rita, Peggy, Karen, and Mary
Have all said they'll help make the burden easy to carry.
So, Mom, God has given me you see,
At last a way to say goodbye to thee.
With God's help and that of my new friends,
The pain that I experience will one day end.
I love you Mom!
You can send email to Bill at: [email protected]
anniversary date 4-18-61
date of post 2-1-99