In Honor of My Mother

Andrea Bogert

My name is Andrea, I just recently lost my favorite person in the world (my mother) her name is Frances Del'Acqua she was a wonderful person. She passed away on Sept.15,1997 at age 57. It was the worst nightmare I have ever witnessed in my life. My family lives in NY and my mother lived in GA. We all went to Georgia to visit and to attend my brother's July wedding we stayed for two and a half weeks had a great time. After the wedding we all went home. Most of the family lives in NY. When we had enough of driving we decided to stop in VA. When we got settled in I called my mother to say we had stopped ,she answered the telephone and I could not understand her. She could not talk...I kept asking her what was wrong and her reply was that she did not know. When we arrived at our house I called her and she was going to the hospital. The Doctors told us that she had a stroke .My father decided to put her in a rehabilitation hospital in FL. There she was doing great. The Doctors said that her carotid arteries were 90 percent blocked. She had the surgery on a Tuesday Morning they put her in a nursing home to recover on Thursday, on Saturday she was walking ,talking etc. On Sunday morning she had another stroke, went into a coma, and was flown back to the hospital where she had her surgery. The Doctors told the family that she had so much brain damage from the strokes that she was brain dead, and that she would not come out of the coma. My mother had a living will which stated no life support and no fluids. We honored her wishes and shut the machines off, after the Doctors said she had no chance of survival and had less than 18 hours to live. Her temp. went up to 106+ and her blood pressure would go real high and then real low. For six days we watched the life go out of our 57-year-old mother. She left behind six children and a husband. Her children all feel that we starved her. With her going on suffering for six days without fluids left us feeling responsible for letting her suffer. Hospice or any establishment did not come to the hospital to help us. Now our whole family has gone our separate ways trying to cope with the loss of our mother. It has been four months since her death ,the further it goes the worst it hurts. This is the first death in my family.

Written by Her Daughter,

Andrea Bogert

You can send email to Andrea at: [email protected]
mail welcome

anniversary date 09-15-97
date of post 01-13-98

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW