Remembering Cliff

Cynthia Lawler

I met Cliff in a bar, I was alone and so was he. We hit it off right away, even though neither of us were dating anyone he felt like my brother. We became really good friends. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and a killer smile. We started hanging out together and had alot of fun. I introduced him to my girlfriend Marybeth and they started going out. They ended up getting married and I was so happy for him. I was in their wedding and it was beautiful. I didn't see them as often after that, but when I did I could tell something wasn't right. Cliff had changed and seemed to be searching

for something although I didn't know what. Cliff and Marybeth separated, I didn't know about his mental state at this time.

Cliff took a gun, went to a park and shop himself in the head. In his truck were pictures of his cat on the dashboard. I had come to find out that he became really mentally ill. In a journal he thought people were chasing him, and the devil was near. He really was having delusions. I wish I would have known. I hate guns. His dad had a gun repair shop in the basement.

Every spring I think of you and get sad.

 Cynthia Lawler

You can email Cindy: [email protected]
mail welcome

date of post 05-07-99


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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW