First off I want to say that this is a wonderful site for people trFirst off I want to say that this is a wonderful site for people trying to deal with their grief. My 17 year old nephew, Bradley, was killed in a one vehicle accident on June 22, 2001, less than a month after graduating high school. My father's death anniversary is June 21st, so June will not be a good month for me. Bradley was a beautiful young man. Being 3/8 Choctaw/Chickasaw indian, he was the only one of the 6 grandchildren with the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen. He was an avid basketball player and dreamed of the NBA. He was a popular young man and had many, many friends. Our family feels blessed for this, as without those friends, our healing process would not be going as smoothly. I cannot fathom the thought of how parents feel when they lose a child, but I know it must be a horrible experience because I considered Bradley one of my own. His mother, sister and 2 little brothers are having a very difficult time, as is my son, who was extremely close to Bradley. All we can do is pray and teach our children that when they are behind the wheel of a car, their lives are always in danger. Bradley thought he was invincible and it taught us a valuable lesson that we are not. We'll never really know how the accident happened. Brad had a bad habit of looking at the radio when he drove and we think that is what happened. He ran off the road, hit a culvert, went airborn and hit a telephone pole. The bones on the left side of his face were completely shattered and when we saw Brad, we had to stand back at a distance and look at the right side of his face to know it was him. As a funeral director and Crime Scene Investigator I know the grief that makes families non functional, and even in some cases, they never get over their children's death and they live a miserable life. We know that Bradley is not coming back and that he is the lucky one, for he has touched the face of God. The following is a poem I wrote in memory of Brad that was read at his funeral.
Dear Bradley:
Please tell us how we'll live our lives,
Without you, where do we start?
I'm sure we'll go on, even though you are gone
Because you'll live within our hearts
We can't question why God chose to take you
We can only know that his reason was there
And we'll try very hard to remember
He gives us no more than we can bear
Yet we'll miss your beautiful bright blue eyes
We'll miss your laughter and your smile
But we'll certainly cherish the memory
Of when you were ours for awhile
We know you won't be coming back
And today is our last goodbye
We hate to let you go sweetheart
But we know we have to try
You were taken from us without warning
A thought we all dread to occur
But we'll mourn not for long that you are gone
Instead, rejoice forever, that you were.
God Bless each of you who are suffering a loss.
Tena Perez
