My daughter's name is Selena and I miss her so very much that sometimes I don't know how I will go on. but everyone says I have to, I have another daughter and a husband to take care of. My life will never be the same, how can it be when you are missing a huge part of it.
Selena was handicapped but not to us, the doctors said she was severly handicapped but to us she was perfect, she was a living doll baby and she brought such joy to our lives, she had seizures and when she got sick she was really sick. She went into the hospital for surgery for scoliosis and it was supposed to be routine, but she really never recovered, she went through 8 days of pure hell and I see that everytime I close my eyes. The doctors don't have an explanation for what went wrong and that really hurts. I believe they overmedicated her but then you have to believe God could have saved her if he had wanted to, but then I think maybe he did save her just not the way I wanted him to because I wasn't ready to give her up, but on the 8th day I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore and I told her I would not hold her here if you wanted to go and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I believe she hung on till I said that and then that makes me feel like I made her suffer just because I was being selfish and didn't want her to leave me.
I feel the pain every second in my life and I know that I will never be the same, I feel like an empty shell, I know she was a blessing to me and my whole family, I am so happy she was mine, she showed us unconditional love and she taught us so much and she didn't even have to say a word. I think the only thing that keeps me going is knowing I will see her again, I have to.
DaNette Chestnut
