My name is Rachael and I lost my older brother Harrod on January 30th of 2002. He was 28 years old I am 25 years old. He had a heart condition for about 2 years. I went up to visit him on the Saturday before, I went to his house and he was sick we took him to the hospital and they said he had to stay. That night he had cardiac arrest, then he was put on a ventilator he was never to awake again, I was very grateful to have the time I had with him in the ER that Saturday night. I am having a really hard time with this, I have never lost anyone close to me before. All I can see when I close my eyes is him in the hospital when he was dying or laying in his casket on his funeral, will I ever get these visions out of my mind? I just want to remember him when he was well. I feel so empty inside and mad, I am mad at God, I feel like I was robbed of a brother way to soon. If anyone can help me in my grieving, I would really like to hear some advice on how to get through this.