I will try to keep this under the limit allowed, but I don't know if that is possible. My mom and I had so very many problems growing up. I should say that I was a victim of almost every abuse you can think of. If mom wasn't a participant, she was an enabler.
The past 10 years though were the best ones ever for us. We had come so far and had built the most honest relationship we could. After her father abused me, I used to wish he would die slowly, one piece at a time.
He did. The sad thing is so did my mother. I sat at her side as they aputated pieces off of her right leg three different times. I listened to all the promises that this one would work. I listened when they said her fingers were dying and would just fall off. I listened when they told her she had cancer.
Finally, I said enough is enough. After a day and a half of preparing, I took my mother home. Within 8 hours she was gone.
There is so much unsaid. So much we needed to share. Grandbabies she needs to love and know. She needs to know my forgiveness. She needs to know how very much I have always loved her. I am so sorry I wasted so much time. I would give anything in the world to be able to call her and tell her it snowed here today.
I hope she reads this. I hope she knows.
I love you Mama.