I lost the love of my life on December 28, 2000 and even tho I wasn't in the same state with him I knew he was gone..... there was no phone call, no letter, I just felt him go....
Tim and I were seeing each for a year and 2 mo..... we were a love at first sight couple... I remember him telling me that when he looked up and seen me I was glowing and he knew that I was gonna be his.... he couldnt have been more right.... I thought he was the best looking thing I had ever seen and was so happy that he had asked me to dance... We danced the night away and got to know each other so deeply with every step..... the days turned into weeks and weeks into months.....We shared our most intimate parts of our lives.... we connected on a deeper level than just boyfriend and girlfriend, we were each others soul mate.....we could finish each others sentences, thoughts, and we knew when something was wrong even if we were not together......
Because of this I knew that he was gone.... I had to went back home to NC for Christmas and he called me every other day while I was there to check on me and let me know that he loved me, he suddenly quit calling, I really started to worry when 5 days went by and he still hadn't called, but for Tim that wasn't anyting new, he wasn't the best at calling sometimes, but then more days went by, I told my mom and friends that I thought he was dead, then I remember on New Years Eve I knew something had to be wrong but I was still so mad at him for not calling me and wishing me a happy New Year....
Once i returned back to KY I found out the horrible truth, I got the news that he died on Dec. 28th, my daddy's birthday, in a horrible car accident that snapped his neck and then his car caught on fire and he burnt up in the car.... I fell to my knees and screamed why.... why in the world would God let me fall so in love with someone so unconditionally and then snatch him from me like that..... and then I felt guilt because I was mad that he didn't call me on New Years Eve and he was being burried on that day.....
To this day I am still trying to deal with the pain of loosing my best friend, soul mate, and lover, and trying to deal with the guilt I have for being upset that he hadn't called..... I also feel some guilt thai wasn't at the funeral, but he knew why I wasn't there and I know that he forgives me for it..... I also know that he knows that I still love him with every fiber of my being and nothing not even death can change that.....someday I will be with him again and we will be happy, now in my pain and grief
I am just waiting for that day.
Thanks for reading this. Its been almost 5 months since he died, and something inside me died with him. Maybe someday I will see the light a the end of the tunnel, who knows....
If this made no sense I am so sorry, but between the tears and trying to get it all straight in my head I did the best I could.....
Krista Grimes
