I am having a very hard time understanding why my husband of 16yrs. heart stopped.
He was a healthy young (43 years old) man. In the prime of his life. We were going to grow old together. We still have a 10 year old daughter at home. She misses her daddy so much. She wants answers that I can't give her. I want so bad to blame someone, anyone, for taking him from me but I can't. There is no one to blame. No one did anything wrong, he didn't do anything wrong.
He died in my arms. We were sitting at the table with the whole family. It was the day before his 44th birthday (he was a New Year's baby). The coroner says he was dead before he hit the floor.
I still feel him here with me. I love waking up in the morning before I remember he is not laying next to me.
I still think of something and think for a split second I have to tell Russ when I get home. Then I say to myself oh you can't he's dead! I see something and think I have to show Russ that, then I say oh you can't he is dead!
I want to start feeling better about life, I want to know how long till it doesn't hurt so bad....................................When will I stop crying?????????????????
Jeannine Simonsen
