My mother died 10 years ago this July. In that ten years, my life has stood still. I do not have the love for life I once possessed. I will try to describe this woman in the only words that run through my mind. I know these words cannot describe the pain in my very heart. My mom was a the foundation to my family. She worried about cuts and scraps that my brother's and I would have from child play. She was the first one to greet me every morning with a smile. My mom would have these big parties for our birthday's. My mother was always there. She is the perfect mold for what God intended for a mother to be. Mom was love. I wish I could remember all of the times I spent with her..but my memory fails me. I just remember the "feeling". I never realized that it could leave..until my mom became ill. My mother was diagnosed with Cancer. This would be the disease that took my mom away from me. We took her to the hospital in May of 1991. She was immediately put into the I.C.U., and her health faded quickly. We did not understand what was going on, my father thought it was not a good idea to tell me and my brother's she had Cancer. Then a week later my mom decided it was time. She called us into the hospital room and told us she had Cancer. My brother's and I cried and stood there in disbelief. My mom was going to live forever...this Cancer thing will just go away. So, weeks passed and everyday we would visit mom. My mother had all of the machine's to assist her. She would hold my hand with her frail hands. I would stare at her, her body and mind so restless. Her face seemed to have the glow disappear...Cancer was taking her away. Then on July 22, 1991 my life changed. The hospital called and said to come down there immediately. My father and I got to the hospital, and ran into the room and saw my mom a pale blue..she was in-between worlds. I screamed out and asked her, "PLEASE MOM, STAY WITH ME!".
My life has stopped. I do not feel anymore. I am 25, and still feel like I am 16 years old. I want my mother. I cry like a child awaking from a nightmare, screaming for my mother. This nightmare I will never awake from.
My days are not spent with love anymore..they are spent in the cemetery. The gate to heartache and tears, countless tears. I miss you mom...God I wish you did not have to take her.