My sister was my best friend and I have felt totally lost since her death. She was killed in an Automobile accident on August 29, 1999on a beautiful Sunday afternoon at 3:00 PM. The accident was so quick and she was killed instantly. It had been only a matter of minutes that she had left my house to run a few errands. She said that she would only be gone for a little while. And that was at 2:40 and at 3:20 the supervisor from the hospital called to tell me that she had been killed. The second that I got the call I knew that she was dead. The supervisor told me that everything would be ok but to come to the ER. But I knew in my heart that she wasn't. But all the way to the hospital I prayed that she would be ok. But she wasn't and she had already been took to the Funeral-Home. It has been 18 months and I miss her as much today as I did the day that she left me. My sister was not only my best friend she was my mentor. She was the one that I always turned to when I had aproblem and she could always seem to fix it. When I divorced several years back she took me under her wing and helped me through Nursing School. I had a baby and she helped to support us and she made sure that my daughter never lacked for anything.
We shared a house together. And it became a joke between us that Heather (my daughter) had two mother's. But, Shirley wasn't just that was with her family she was that way to everyone that ever became a part of her life. Shirley was a RN and was the Nurse Manager of the ICU in our home town. I have seen her go in before 5:00 in the morning and come home at midnight because she didn't want to leave the staff in a tight or the patient that was having a problem. But since her death I felt as if I couldn't go on. I am angry at her for leaving me. I am angry at her fellow employees because they are still alive and that is where she was going just to check to make sure they didn't need anything. And in a sense I am angry at GOD for talking her. I have been told that GOD doesn't take anyone before their time but I am not sure that I believe that anymore. I haven't been able to talk to anyone in a long time because they don't want to hear about her and they just don't understand. No one can feel the hurt that I feel. They keep telling me that it is time to go on with my life and there is times that I don't care if I do. I just want her here with me one more time to tell her just what she meant to me and that I loved her. I want to hear her giggle that only she had. I want her to walk in the door and twist my toe as I lay on the sofa to wake me up to let me know that she is at home. I couldn't sleep until she came in at night so I would lie onthe sofa until she came home. Now I sleep on the sofa thinking that she just might walk in. I know without her nothing will ever be the same.