My Thoughts of Loss

Karrin Ford

My thoughts of Loss

You wonder where the days go,

Looking at the past for an answer.

A love you fought for that was never there.

A myriad of nothing, made up of so much.

As if like a ribbon blowing in the wind,

You reach to stop its floundering path.

Your wish is to create a beautiful, still bow.

It's always out of your grasp,

You feel it touch your fingertips and slip away.

Mirroring a dream that's never real,

Two creations masked with confusion.

I have lost my way through the

Blinding guilt of failure.

A path always longer than imagined.

I search for the soul that's hiding in the dark,

Believing I can reach his heart.

A life that strayed from the comfort of our love.

A force beyond my strength, blankets his eyes.

Unreachable through tears from small faces

And the pain shadowing her spirit.

He reaches for the demons that surround him.

Forced to let go and watch as he is taken from them.

Hours spent grieving a loss that is never complete.

Pieces of one, you pray can be put together,

only to watch what once fit, slip into a deformed

Shape, unrecognized by familiarity.

I call to him as if he can still hear my thoughts.

I know he's there, hidden by the winding ribbon.

Though it is never still, it grants me glimpses of

The memory of his smile, of his touch as he

Reaches for me. The ribbon playfully

Exposes that which I will always remember

And know I could not conquer.

As I am any one of you, lifted through

A cloud of addiction. I look for a safe

Place I can hid him from it's reach.

There is no such place. Tears

Flow from my heart as I realize

That he is gone, but still here.

Believe in your love before it's taken

From you. So easily it slips away and

Is replaced with strangers more familiar

With your love than you.

Karrin Ford

You can send email to Karrin Ford at [email protected]

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Anniversary date -
Date of post - 1-29-01

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