My thoughts of Loss
You wonder where the days go,
Looking at the past for an answer.
A love you fought for that was never there.
A myriad of nothing, made up of so much.
As if like a ribbon blowing in the wind,
You reach to stop its floundering path.
Your wish is to create a beautiful, still bow.
It's always out of your grasp,
You feel it touch your fingertips and slip away.
Mirroring a dream that's never real,
Two creations masked with confusion.
I have lost my way through the
Blinding guilt of failure.
A path always longer than imagined.
I search for the soul that's hiding in the dark,
Believing I can reach his heart.
A life that strayed from the comfort of our love.
A force beyond my strength, blankets his eyes.
Unreachable through tears from small faces
And the pain shadowing her spirit.
He reaches for the demons that surround him.
Forced to let go and watch as he is taken from them.
Hours spent grieving a loss that is never complete.
Pieces of one, you pray can be put together,
only to watch what once fit, slip into a deformed
Shape, unrecognized by familiarity.
I call to him as if he can still hear my thoughts.
I know he's there, hidden by the winding ribbon.
Though it is never still, it grants me glimpses of
The memory of his smile, of his touch as he
Reaches for me. The ribbon playfully
Exposes that which I will always remember
And know I could not conquer.
As I am any one of you, lifted through
A cloud of addiction. I look for a safe
Place I can hid him from it's reach.
There is no such place. Tears
Flow from my heart as I realize
That he is gone, but still here.
Believe in your love before it's taken
From you. So easily it slips away and
Is replaced with strangers more familiar
With your love than you.
Karrin Ford
