About 6 a.m. on a rainy Monday morning 4 years ago we received a phone call saying that our daughter was hurt and that we needed to come get our small grand-daughter, who was not quite 4 at the time. Little did we know that when we get there we would be told that our daughter was dead.
Police fully believe she was a victim of domestic violence. Her skull was crushed, and she had been smothered will 2 pillows. My husband had to identify her body, but could only do so by a scar on her knee. We had to have a closed casket service because her face was not recognizable.
Our state DA's office would not charge the person police beleive to be guilty because they say that the physical evidence is all circumstantial and cannot be proved. We have no answers, and to this day no one has been held responsible for my daughter's death. It is hard to have closure and peace of mind.
My grand-daughter was in the apartment at the time her mother was murdered. Although she was only 3 then, she had vivid memories of things she saw. Some things we feel she has blocked from her mind. She was/is the only witness as to what happened. We have had her in therapy since April of 1997. Her therapist feels that as she gets older she will either remember everything or she will keep it locked in her sub-conscious forever.
There is not a day goes by that my daughter does not cross my mind. I find myself asking GOD why HE let this happen to us. She was only 26 at the time of her death, and was just planning her future. She was an independent young lady, and determined to make life better for herself and her family. Her daughter was the joy of her life. WHY? The answer to that we may never know!
After her death, her then husband signed over custody of their daughter to myself and my husband. He took us through the courts to get her back, but was given supervised visits only. Then back in May of this year he took us back to court to get unsupervised visits. We compromised on some daytime visits with the possibility of over-night stays at some point. We did not want this to happen, but we also did not want him to fight for custody of her again. The one thing we are afraid of is what he is feels his daughter may know about her mother's death. We cannot know what is said to her when she is away from us; nor can we protect her from any emotional trama when she is with her dad.
Heather does not understand why her mother is not with her anymore. She does know that her mother is in HEAVEN and is watching over her,and is now her guardian angel.
I will always hold my daughter and her memory in my heart forever. I will always miss her. I still feel some anger, and I still have periods of depression, but I know that she is in a good place. I know that one day I will be with her again. But still....WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS? Perhaps only GOD knows, and one day we will know those answers. In the meantime I can look at my grand-daughter and know that she is a part of her mother. My daughter's memory lives on...thru her daughter and thru all the wonderful things we have to remember about her life.
Ann
