I never thought that my life could change in a blink of an eye. I always thought that my son would be here with me.
I remember that April morning as if it was yesterday. I'm not really sure if that's good or not. I remember getting Tevin dressed and ready to go to his daycare and also getting my daughter Sharonda up and dressed (at the time she was 5 yrs. old). I was running late that morning and I told Sharonda that I wouldn't have time to take her to school and that she can go to the daycare with Tevin (like she has done many times before). She told me that she needed to go to school because they had to practice for graduation(from kindergarten). Although I was running late I told her okay and I took her to school. I remember dropping Tevin off at the center and looking at all of the children that had made it there before him. I kissed him bye and I walked across the street to go to work.
I never would have guessed that an hour later the life that I once knew would be over.
After the bomb went off I still didn't know what to think. After getting out I realized that it wasn't our building, that it was the federal building, Tevin's daycare.
I have strong memories of that morning that will be with me for the rest of my life. Itwasn't until that following Saturday when I found out about Tevin. For 3 days I was told all types of things. Every thought that you can think of went through my head. When I finally found out about Tevin it didn't seem real. As it still doesn't some days. I remember telling my daughter that Tevin was gone and that he was in heaven with Jesus.She wanted to know who else went with him and I told her "a lot of the kids and babies went too". She wanted to know which ones (since she spent every school break at the daycare, she knew the children) and with the name of each child her eyes filled more with tears.
I will never get over the pain of losing Tevin or the many questions that will follow. Although it's been 5 years, I still remember the joy and happiness that Tevin placed in our lives and hearts. He was a very happy and loving baby.
It's amazing how the events of one day can fade the memories of a life time.
I am often asked if I hate the people that killed my son? And I answer "no". I tell them that no matter how hard it was to lose Tevin, I refuse to let his killers take anything else from me. I refuse to allow hate in my life.
I remember the day that I found out you where inside of me, a feeling for joy and happiness came over me. Although I had to go threw a lot to get you here, you were worth it.
I know you're in heaven with wings bright as gold and a playhouse so fun where anything goes. Where you can dance with the angels and sing with the harps, and never feel pain or the feelings of lost. I know you're okay because you're with Jesus and saints, and you're higher than high and brighter than bright.
So my sweet baby, do me one thing, if that I may ask, And open your wings and fly to the highest height.
Every time I cry is a sign of my pain, Every tear that falls carries your name.
In Memory of Tevin D'Aundrae Garrett November 25, 1993 - April 19, 1995.