In honor of my best friend and soulmate Ann Atkins-Dwortzan. Annie committed suicide on Feb. 2, 2000 just 5 days before her 35 birthday. I believe Annie gave me the gift of writing poetry, because I have never written a poem in my
life until 2 days after her death. Since then, I have written close to 100. Three of them will be published this summer. I will be getting a book together, a book of grieving. There's so much I want to tell you about my
Annie, but now after almost 5 months of some very intense grieving, I feel numb, and so all I can do is share with you a couple of poems.
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Forever Gone
And in the morning I have to remind myself again
that you are gone
Why did you leave me?
My heart feels as though it will burst from the pain
My sorrow filters through every inch of my soul
How do I accept that you are really dead?
Please someone tell me
When will my heart find peace once again?
My confidence is withered, my trust withheld
The world continues, that is for certain
but the void in my soul
Is everlasting
I miss my smile, I miss my laughter
I miss the person I was
when you were a part of my world
Part of me seems to have gone with you
And it is all I can do, to find strength and the courage
To fill the emptiness you left behind
What a tremendous burden
You have placed on my soul
To resurrect my smile in this sea of sorrow and dispair
But I stand with courage in the fire to rediscover
myself
And will have to be content
with just having your soul
Always and forever
a part of me.
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No Judgment
No judgment do I place
On this sorrow in my soul
It surrounds my very being
And lingers in every space
Dark, shadowy images
No brightness do I see
Inwardly feeling awkward
Not knowing where to be
Tightness around my heart
As if it's being squeezed
Always it is there
No place to retreat
Innocence taken away
Sweetness of life demanding reassurance
Taking one moment at a time
To this darkness I will not sway
No judgment, no plan
Just the sorrow
And it is right now
All that I am
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Angelica
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Has any one seen my Annie
She was here
not long ago
with her loving heart & gentle spirit
Her presence lit up a room
Her house was her sanctuary
Where friends gathered to share stories
A lady in white
Surrounding herself with flowers and music
We called her Angelica
We called her our friend
Her soul touched our souls
Peacefully she moved about her joyous garden
Her elegant smile and joyous laughter filled our ears
Just to see her one more time
Angelica
Forever you will grace our memories
Wendy Sherone
