We woke up to the door opening in the front room, my parents never just "arrive" in the a.m. especially with the pastor in the car. I knew something was wrong. I knew it was my son Joe. Why? because of a prior attempt he had made at age 14, at the time I tucked that event in the back of my head hoping I'd never have to take it out and face it again. I did Joseph McClanahan put a bag on his head and asphixiated himself, at such a young age of 20, I'll never be the same, again, yet I look around and my surroundings are the same, things are different yet the same. My husband is quieter in the grief, I'm more vocal, spend 12 hours some days in tears! It hurts so. It's only been 1 month. I miss Joseph so much, he had bi-polar, please if your child shows symptoms Please, get them help if you can.