My grief for my sister, my mother, and my friend


Sara Ann Holcombe

I lost my only sister and truly the kindest person 11 years ago. I lost my other best friend, my mother close to 8 years ago. In Jan. '96 I lost my closest male friend.

Gene-Leigh was 30 when she died of brain cancer/tumor...she suffered for 5 1/2 yrs with no complaining. She had to leave her little boy behind not knowing who he would be with since his father/her husband who left her when she became sick when the baby was 10 days old was hardly ever around.

Now that I have three children of my own the thought of leaving them alone is too heart wrenching to describe in words. I married shortly after her death at age 21, she would have turned 31 two days before I turned 21 in May.

I married in June to a wonderfuld guy 1985. The fact the I was marrying my love and still had the support of my other best friend, my mother made things somewhat bearable although times were still often hard.

1987 produced my first daughter, Leah, named after sis...as she turned 6 mo. old I found myself pregant with #2 daughter and depressed about it. Mom had a heart attack in June, 1988...and was put on a heart transplant list with only 15% heart working...no one explained to me then (being the baby of the family) that she was being sent home to die. She died Nov. 1988, one and half mo after Kayla was born. I suffered/suffer severe depression. My daughters brought me great joy but I spent my nights awake pacing in panic of pain, of the loss, I didn't know how I could bear losing Gene-Leigh and then Mom...one or the other was too much in itself, but how could I survive both??

I still don't know....

1996, Jan., my dearest male buddy, Dave, died of AIDS...I am still in the beginning of grief...it's only the end of September...He was passionate and compassionate, smart, funny, creative, and tempermental...

I feel all my support and real friends are gone. I have a great husband and three lovely awesome children (son born on the last day of 1993). However the void in my heart is huge. I feel guilty like I shouldn't feel so bad since I have all these other wonderful people in my life, but I had the best mother and sister in the world, they were my support and encouraged me to excel and be me...unconditionally loved me...I could go on and on , but find I once again have to stop to wake up my son and pick the girls from school.

Thanks for reading this jumbled up mess.

Responses are welcome....I am very new to computers.

Sara Ann Holcombe



You can send email to Sara Ann at SaraAnnH@aol.com
mail welcome


anniversary date 1-96
date of post 10-1-96

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW