My mother was a youthful 69 year old ,when we discovered that she had a tumour in her pancreas.In May of this year she was given three months to live. She died at 0715 hours on 5 November which speaks volumes for her physical strength and courage. She decided not to leave us until we were all fully trained on how to cope without her. We found written instructions on recipes and how to go living without her in places around the house. My father found a beautiful note in her handbag. It expressed great love for him and a wish for him to go to live a happy life.My mother wrote that note in the hospice some time during her final days. Her handwriting looked so very frail.
We were together as a family in her final hours and I am so thankful for the gift she gave me. She was with me at my birth and I was there for her at her death. We had some very special moments in the days before her death and I know that I am blessed with a legacy of courage and humour. I can write this because I am my Mothers daughter. I am sad and angry, that she chose such a terrible way to die and I weep now for the pain and suffering she endured. She was a fit and active lady cut down by a brutal disease. Selfishly I wish she was here,so that I could massage her legs, comb her hair and hold her tiny hands. We had to tape her rings as she lost so much weight. In death she looked like the beautiful young woman she had been when she married my father 48 years ago.
If you read this I know you will appreciate the depth of my grief and I hope that my expression of deep and spiritual feelings are helpful to you as you struggle to make sense of life and death.
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anniversary date 11-05-96
date of post 11-21-96