My Father


Nicky

My father, he was 34 when I came,
unexpectedly.
My father, he was 39 when he came
towards me for the first time.
My father, he was 46 when he came
towards me for the last time.

Although I hate him ... I love him
for being my father,
Although I fear him ... I love him
for being my father.

He died one year ago, after a lot
of pain, pain I wanted him to have
because he caused me such a lot of
pain so many years ago....
Feeling bad for those things I
thought, I wanted to die with him,
he died, I didn't.
I live on with him marked in my
brains, leaving tracks I can't get off.
I live on with him inside my body,
leaving pain I can't forget.

But still I love him,
still I care for him,
but still I want him back.

Father, I can't forgive and forget, but I want you to know I remember.

Nicky



Nicky would appreciate email of support and understanding. Nicky@dma.be
mail welcome


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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW