Life Without Parents -- My Best Friends


Milissa J. Fritz

My life will never be the same since my parents died. My mom passed away four years ago on May31. She died of a massive heart-attach. She was my best friend. She was wonderful. She was funny. She was my right side of my heart. My dad was my night in shining armor. He was a wonderful man who would of done anything for me. He died of lung cancer on October 22, 1997. He was the left side of my heart. My parents were not rich but they made a wonderful life for their family. My mom would have taken anyone in who needed her help. My father never minded. They were the perfect couple. I knew when my mom died, my father was on borrowed time.

My mom kept our family together. We were all very close when she was still living. I remember in the hospital the week my mom was in a coma. No one ever left her unattended. We were always there. The devotion in my father's eyes said it all. He loved her so much. Everyone loved her.

She passed away and we slowly separated. We didn't want my father alone. I lived with my fiancée and my son only a few miles away. I saw my father every morning. My brother and his girlfriend lived with my dad. My older brother was by himself.

The news came. My brother and his girlfriend wanted a new house. They convinced my dad to move. The sale of our house we grew up to went towards the purchase of my brother and his girlfriend's new house. We were all happy for them. He would have a better life than I could give my dad if he had moved in with me.

Life went sour. My brother's girlfriend took off her costume and became a real witch. She convinced my brother to get rid of my dad. The man who did all he could for his children. She convinced my brother that my dad was a monster. My dad never did anything to hurt anyone.

My dad moved out. Shortly after, he developed lung cancer. It was the hardest thing in the world. To watch the man you looked up to, suffer as much as he did.

My father never said a bad word about my brother, but I knew it broke his heart. My dad died. My brother who lived 15 minutes from him could not find the time in one month of agony on my fathers part to visit him. He said he had a wife to take care of.

My dad died without seeing his son. My fathers other children were there. My sister, my older brother, myself , and all our other relatives attended the funeral. Only flowers were sent by my brother. He did not come.

How could he not come? He lived with my father for 25 years of his life. He was the all-American boy growing up in life. Never a problem. Friend to all. No one disliked him. What happened to my brother? I loved him . Almost 8 months have passed. I had contact with my brother one time since then. We acted as if nothing happened. It was all small talk. We ended our visit nicely. Promising to get together soon. I couldn't bear to talk about the past.

Now I found out that my brother suffered a nervous breakdown. I guess all the guilt inside of him came out. What do I do? Do I treat him like the prodigal son? My one brother wants nothing to do with him. He is the strong type. I never realized how weak my youngest brother was. It is so hard to forgive. So many things have pulled us apart. Do I forgive and forget? I don't know what to do!! He will always have a place in my heart, but as you have read, My heart is broken in two.

My name is MILISSA FRITZ. I would like some help in this. I am losing my mind also, because I am the daughter of two wonderful parents. I know what they would have done, but it is hard for me to forgive because it was my father who was hurt. I had to protect him because he was all that I had.

Milissa J. Fritz



You can send email to Milissa J. at: missy58967@aol.com
mail welcome


anniversary date Mom: 05-31-94 Dad: 10-22-97
date of post 05-29-98

[return to home page] [column] [book excerpts] [honor page] [discussions page]

Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW