The loss of my wife Virginia is devastation like anything I have ever known. She was everything to me. Wonderful wife, my best friend, terrific mother and beautiful lover. When she died I came to the realization that I really didn't know who I was. I realized that I had always been part of an "Us". There was no "Me". I have experienced all of the "classic" symptoms of grief, over and over again. It has been nearly a year since she died and, at times, things don't seem like they are ever going to get better.
However, a friend of mine (and fellow griever) gave me a perspective that I would like to pass along to all that wish to posses it. We Are All Winners. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. We have all lost a loved one. How dare I suggest we have somehow "Won". Look at it from this perspective. There are too many people in this life that never know the deep love that we have. They have never had the privilege of sharing life (however brief it may have been) with someone as wonderful as the one we have lost. We have been given the "Gift" of love. And, if you believe as I do that Love is what life is all about, then we truly have already won. We are winners.
This knowledge has carried me through some pretty rough times. I hope it can help at least one of you.
May God Bless all of you in your grief and help all of us to grow from it.
Michael Rosek, Sr.
You can send email to Michael at: firstname.lastname@example.org
date of post 10-02-97