I Lost Both My Parents Within 9 Months


Kathi Stauffer

My father passed away June 28th 1998 on my 45th birthday. After he passed away I took my 81 year old mother to live with me and my family she had Alzhiemers. I took total care of her 24 hours a day 7 days a week with no help. My husband told my dad that if anything happened to him we would care for my mom, he wasn't to worry. I kept my mother with us for 6 long months, some days I thought I would go crazy. January 15 my mother fell on the ice and fractured her wrist, I decided that it was time I made a decision to place her in a nursing home. The hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I chose a nursing home nearby so I could visit frequently. She adjusted so well in her new home I was finally happy for her. Her worst fear was being alone, in the home she was never alone. March 8th I got a phone call in the wee hours of the morning from a nurse, saying my mom was headed for the hospital, she was having trouble breathing. I was called later to inform me that mom suffered from congestive heart failure and artial fibrullation, The same thing my dad had.

I was shocked. My mother never recovered, she went back to the nursing home, there they did everything possible for her. I stayed by my mothers side as long as they would let me. She lay in an almost comatose state for three weeks. April 6 my mother left us to be with my daddy. My brother and myself were with her the whole day, I kept telling her not to be afraid and that she should go with dad. I couldn't tell her enough how very much I loved her and wanted her suffering to end. 3:45 April 6 my mom took her last breath, I was holding her hand, I told her to 'run' to dad. The funeral was beautiful, she loved pink and red, so the inside of her casket was a baby pink, I chose a lovely outfit for her that complimented the pink lining beautifully. She looked so peaceful I could almost see her breathing. I am now trying to pick up the pieces of my life, I have spent the last 3 years of my life caring for my mother and dad, I almost don't know where to begin. All I do know is that after being married for 58 years my mom and dad are together again, and very happy. I am so very sad but at the same time I am thrilled they are happy again. I will see them again some day. I went to bed the night my mom died, with a smile on my face picturing them together.

Kathi Stauffer



You can send email to Kathi at: Potpaintr@aol.com
mail welcome


anniversary date Father: 6-28-98 Mother: 4-6-99
date of post 4-11-99

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Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW