Thank God for this page! The overwhelming grief which has CONSUMED my every thought and breath since my beautiful mother's passing has been set a little a ease by the others which have shared their thoughts on this page. My Mom fought a 10 month battle with lung cancer. My SISTERS AND I NEVER allowed her to know the extent of the cancer. She was sheltered from this. I felt there would be a miracle, it just does not happen to my mother! You are my best friend, my e.t., we had plans, you have not even started reaching your dreams. My mom was really scared and towards the end she needed to be on 100 liquid oxygen at home. She kept fighting taking 8 cups of vitamins day, shark cartilage, ALONG WITH CHEMO WHICH IAM AGAINST NOW. I STAYED WITH MY MOM FOR 3 MONTHS , NOT LEAVING HER SIDE, EVEN IF I TRIED I WOULD HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. MY SISTERS AND BROTHER WERE ALL VERY SUPPORTIVE , SHE HAD SO MUCH SUPPORT. EVEN FROM BUTTONS WHO WAS HER VERY SPECIAL PUPPY OF 19 YRS OLD. BUTTONS DIED THE NEXT DAY OCT 4 98. I'D LIKE TO SHARE A LETTER I WROTE TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER JUST A WEEK AGO , DEAR MOM ,THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY CAME INTO THE HOUSE TONIGHT, THIS BUTTERFLY DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE, SHE WAS MAGICAL, YOU SEE MOM NOBODY SEEMS TO APPRECIATE BEAUTY , MAGICAL ,YOU KNOW THE LITTLE THINGS. I WONDERED IF THE BUTTERFLY WAS YOU OR BUTTONS. DAD YOU ARE MY EAGLE, MY STREGHTH YOU HAVE CARRIED ME AND STILL DO.MOM, I AM REALLY SCARED , WANT SO BADLY TO BE HAPPY , YOU ONLY WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY, YET I JUST WANT TO HIDE, I JUST WANT MY MOMMY. I FEEL SO ALONE WITH THESE EMOTIONS , THE PAGES OF MY LIFE SEEMS TO BE EMPTY AND I DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO FILL THEM. MOM I WANT TO SMILE AND SHINE FOR YOU, I JUST DO NOT KNOW IF IN TIME IT WILL EASE. REMEMBER YOU TOLD ME OVER AND OVER WHEN I WAS ALITTLE GIRL TO SEE BEAUTY ALL AROUND ME , THE FLOWERS, THE SUNRISE AN SUNSETS. MOM I SEE BEAUTY IN FRONT OF ME,ALONG SIDE OF ME ,I SEE BEAUTY ALL AROUND ME BECAUSE I SEE YOU. MOM YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A BALLERINA, YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BALLERINA IN THE WORLD, YOU HAVE BEEN DANCING FOR ME ALL YOUR LIFE, NOW YOU CAN DANCE FOR YOU, ALL OF ETERNITY...
MOM , COME PLAY IN THE RAIN WITH US. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH E.T.
TO THE READERS OF THIS PAGE IF THERE IS ANYBODY THERE WHO HAS SOME HOPE. SOME WAY OF FINDING EVEN A TOUCH OF HEALING LIGHT PLEASE WRITE OR EMAIL.
THANKS FOR CARING,
You can send email to Gina at: none
anniversary date 10-03-98
date of post 01-07-99