My son Stephen age 30 completed suicide May9th 1998. I got a phone call at 10pm, "Mom, I just wanted to say goodbye and I love you." I refused to say goodbye as that would be giving him permission. I cried, "Stephen please don't do this to me when I am 350 miles away." He hung up the phone. I still didn't believe he was serious as he was very drunk. I called my oldest son who lived down the street. It was too late when he got there. My hair turned gray overnight, I have lost 15 lbs. and I can't eat or sleep. The grief is overwhelming. I had to return to a three-room apartment, where I live alone. My other 4 children are all in other states. I have had wonderful friends to help me through this, but my family has been non-supportive to the point of ignoring me, because they say they don't know what to say to me. My feelings are so hurt. I have two sisters who have never been to my house since my son has died. I am afraid that my relationship with my family will never be the same as I will never forgive them. I have now made my friends my family.
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anniversary date 05-09-98
date of post 06-20-98