My Sister Ann


Colleen

My story actually begins in 1968, the year my sister Ann first attempted to take her life. I was only 4 years old and we were away on vacation. My two brothers and two oldest sisters both stayed home in Cincinnati. Don't remember much other than being mad at her for ruining my vacation. She slit her wrists and was in a state mental hospital. She tried 2 more times before she was 19. Thankfully she didn't succeed. She got married on my birthday to a wonderful man named Tom and they had 3 beautiful children whom she loved dearly. She tried again when she was in her late 30's and again her attempt failed. Unfortunately she succeeded in August of 1995. What shock and devastation this brought to all of those of us who knew and loved her. Her wake was attended by so many people whose lives she touched. She was a high school teacher, and the funeral home director told us that they have never had so many people attend a wake before. A tribute to the love and laughter she brought to so many. Unfortunately, Ann didn't feel that her life was worth living. We all know that it was. We are all so thankful that we had the extra 25 years with her, that she didn't succeed at her first attempt and that we have a piece of her in each of her children. Ann was a wonderful sister, a beautiful wife, a happy mother and a well liked teacher. I would like to share a poem that I wrote in her memory

CHILDREN PLAY

I watch the children play, it makes me sad.
For so long Ann, that's what you had.
Three lovely children and Tom
you were a wife, you were a mom.
And as far as sisters are concerned
there was so much from you I learned.
Through your death you've gained rebirth
for no longer will you suffer on this earth.
Ann, you taught me life's a gift
so with my life I've made a shift.
Each day I'll take one by one
and every day I'll watch the sun.
It will rise and it will set
and with that, sometimes my eyes will be wet.
But I know there's so much more
because it's life that I adore.
I thank God for my friends and family
I hope they know what they mean to me.
Each night I pray for mom and dad,
that tomorrow they won't feel so sad.
But we're strong, we have each other
five sisters and brothers, one father, one mother
And one special sister, our angel Ann
with her help I'll live Gods plan.

Ann, we all miss you and wish you didn't feel like you couldn't go on. We are
not angry with you, just sad. I know that you are at rest and that you are
watching over us.
"I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day"

Your little sister Colleen who misses and thinks of you everyday.

Colleen



You can send email to Colleen at: cmeurer@aol.com
mail welcome


anniversary date 08-27-95
date of post 02-25-98

[return to home page] [column] [book excerpts] [honor page] [discussions page]

Crisis, Grief, and Healing: Tom Golden LCSW